I graduated today

I talk, and write, of things that don’t matter anymore. So perhaps this, too, will not matter. My discernment lately tells me that not everything needs to matter, and some things just need to be lived.

Still, for as long as I can remember, I have always wanted a “big life,” whatever that means now; I think it’s an apartment with big glass windows (so urban!) or an acute sense of self.

I was trying to outgrow the smallness of where I came from, and I have been mistaking it for lack. Too much wanting can undo you, I realize. So I am now learning to remember what still holds.